lately i have been feeling lonely and misunderstood.
not anyones fault.
and really when i step back to think on it, i am NOT alone, and alot of people DO try to understand me to the best of their ability.
maybe its a byproduct of this funk thats been going on.
i am adrenal fatigued, i might even go so far as saying adrenal exhausted.
i need to get on some adrenal supps.
yuck, ground up glands and such from other animals go into these things. ewwww.
but i WILL do what i need to do for my health and the sanity and emotional ealth of my family.
i am yelling alot.
i am losing my patience and my cool alot.
i am finding it almost imposible to calm myself down after i get upset. it just escalates inside of me, leaving me finally feeling like i have been run over by a train.
even little things set me off.
and the big things.... well i am glad that they mostly happen when someone else who can be more calm is around, so i can remove myself from the sitch.
i hate feeling like a prisoner in my own body. and thats exactly how this makes me feel. like i CANNOT escape from this constant fight or flight feeling, the exhausted feeling, the completely incapability of rationaly handling any stress.
its effecting my whole family, and its really doing a number on me.
so, i am taking a placenta pill a day. along with my FO and prenatals (my body uses everything it can in those, and being a nursing mom its nice to have extra vites to pass on) my domperidone, lecithin, and lactation herbs, and when needed, extra vit c.
i need to throw in some B vite blend as well as some adrenal support blend.
hopefully soon, everything will be much better.
if not then its time to start talking to Dr about some ADs. even though i am SO anti pharms, i know they do help alot of people.
now if only frankenpussy would cheer up.
i never realized jsut HOW different my crotch would be after giving vaginal birth to a 10lb baby. i ripped, only not in the direction most people rip.
so all the "good" parts, are mangled.
i have yet to have a deeply satisfying left 100% happy with my womanly parts sexual encounter since Niamh was born.
i know alot has to do with dryness and nursing hormones, but its not only that. i could handle a dry crotch, thats what coconut oil is for.
its the mangled fun button. the relocation and separation of my most enjoyable bits and pieces.
dont get me wrong, if i had to choose Niamhs birth exactly the way it was, or sacrifice part of it for a non mangled pussy i would choose our perfect birth frankenpussy and all.
its just hard to not be frustrated, when a part of me i have known SO well for so long is now a stranger to me.
i miss my pussy.
and i bet my husband does too.
cause he be gettin NO action from Mangled Crotch McGee
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